Every Child is different

I’ve got this realization from our long Christmas holiday because during that time my child’s nanny went home for the holidays and I’m the one who takes care of my 2nd child at home. I think every child is different from the other because they already have their own character at birth and although their surroundings influence them, they already have their own personality. I realized that I don’t know my daughter anymore because she already has mood swings and tantrums that I’m not really used to before. My eldest son is already 4 years old and he will be turning five this Jan. 2, 2011. He is already in nursery school and his grandmother takes him to school everyday. In our present circumstance right now, I can’t really be with him everyday but I’m happy to know that he remembers the time that we are together when he is still younger. I don’t really want to reminisce because I don’t want to feel hurt over the things that I can’t seem to do anything about. I think the child remembers memories as early as two years from birth and my son remembers me well.

My son is entirely different from his sister in so many ways when he was her age. My daughter now is two years and five months old and I think she really wanted to have whatever she wants because she would not take no for an answer. Unlike her brother she would cry longer if she wants something and sad to say she would swing her hands at me which I find very annoying. I think every child is different and there is no such thing as the only way of disciplining a child because children vary from the other. I know my daughter requires much understanding than her brother. I must bear that in mind every time she had her tantrums.

What about the Reproductive health bill?

I’ve read in the front page of our newspaper about the Reproductive health bill  and that many religious groups feel strongly against it. Well, it is expected because the majority of the Filipino people are Christians. The head of the Catholic Church is against the bill because the religion is against artificial contraceptives and anything that is related to it. The bill is primarily concerned with providing information on family planning and giving free contraceptives to the public. I think there is nothing wrong with the bill because everyone needs the right information on family planning and there is absolutely no coercion in choosing what method to use.

I have nothing against the Catholic Church because I was born to the catholic faith and I even attend masses but I think they have to know their limitations. They have to know that the Government has the responsibility on the welfare of its citizens while their responsibility is cultivating the faith of their members. The religious leaders have to open their eyes that there are many parents who are irresponsible in taking care of their children and who obviously needed family planning because they bear many children. You can even see it on the streets; there are many children who take care of themselves because their parents are obviously irresponsible.

If ask how many children would they plan to bear? Many of them would say it depends on how many children God will give them. I think it would be okay to answer this kind of question this way as long as the parent is responsible enough that they can take care of their children well. Being a responsible parent they should be aware of how many children they can afford to raise well and they should be aware if their income is enough to cater to the needs of their children.

The faithful are sometimes foolish because when they said that it depends on how many children God is willing to give them even without responsibly thinking if they could afford to raise them all, it is just believing that God will feed them even if they don’t do anything but pray for food.

It is hard to discipline a child

I've been so busy lately because as you all know I am working and when I come home I still have to prepare for dinner while taking care of my two toddlers. My baby girl is now already One year and three months old and as usual she is so curious with her surrounding that she wanted to taste everything that interest her. It is at this stage that she is already active in exploring our place. She wanted to roam around the house touching everything that comes her way and put everything she can grasp inside her mouth. That is why I have to sweep the floor so often to make everything clean. My son is already 3 yrs and eight months old right now and his behavior is a major adjustment to me. I think it is so hard to discipline a child and there are major issues that you have to look into. In the past as children we were spank with leather belt by our parents as a form of punishment and I know how it hurts during that time. I even have a scar in my right leg that reminds me of the pain and at an early age I could not remember what I have done to have that punishment. I think there are other options to discipline a child other than that kind of punishment but sometimes it is so hard not to do the traditional way of doing it. I think speaking to him at eye level would do and in a firm way but the must important thing is to have an enormous amount of patience. It is hard for me because I really don't like hearing him cry because when he wanted something he would ask for it over and over again. I'm telling him to stop trying to hurt his sister but for him, it is just some kind of a game. I hope there would be some kind of training to mothers like me in the right way of disciplining a child because the how we train a child will surely affect the formation of their character and I know that it can affect him psychologically.

Getting pregnant is so easy

I’ve recently visited this site and it had an Ebook entitled getting pregnant bible. To be honest I don’t need this reference because I easily get pregnant. This Ebook contains steps on how to get pregnant. I think mothers like me should be grateful that we were given babies with ease. I’ve been given two babies without even asking about it, I think I’m just one of the lucky ones. Anyway I can’t really tell you more about ways on how to get pregnant because I think that is one thing you should talk to your doctor. One advice though I’ve known so many mothers who have been trying to get pregnant for so many years and in the end they did get pregnant. I think getting pregnant has a time of its own and you can’t always decide to have a baby and expect to have it during that time. Anyway everything has a purpose so I’m telling every woman who wants to get pregnant to just take it easy.

Kitchen appliances is also a wife’s best friend

When I was still single and dating the kitchen for me is just a place where I need to go to fix myself something to eat but now as a mother it has become one of the most important place in the house. I wish I could have all the kitchen appliances that I can use to create sumptuous meals. Anyway I still have so many things to buy and I intend to do so when I have extra money to spend. My wish list for this year is a blender, food processor and an oven.

A blender is very useful in mixing fruits and vegetables into a puree or juice and it is also useful in making a healthy beverage. A food processor is very important in making healthy homemade baby food. Buying an oven is my greatest dream because I could bake cakes, pizza, roasted meat and baked pastas. I could also bake cookies for my toddler. If I had an oven I could explore and experiment cooking dishes. Over the years I have been collecting recipes and cookbooks and it is a dream come true to finally cook some of those delicious dishes.

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My baby girl at six months and my son at three years old

My baby is now six months old and she can already move from side to side. Sometimes she lay on her belly and then on her back again. She already looks at me when I call her name and laugh whenever I make funny faces on her. She can already distinguish a camera when we took pictures of her. She doesn’t like the camera because she would close her eyes whenever we attempt to took her pictures because she doesn’t like the flash.

I noticed that she has already strength on her legs because at most cases she will attempt to stand while I hold her on my arms. I think she looks a lot like me, what do you think?
This month I will already feed him Cerelac and mash vegetables and fruits. She does look bigger than most babies of her age because at work we would talk about our babies and they told me that my baby is much bigger than theirs.

Anyway I could compare her development from my first child when he was still a baby and they really differ in many ways. My baby girl’s development is much faster than her brother because she can already look at me on the eye when she is still one week old and she already laugh when she was still less than a month old. She can also react to me when I talk to her at an early age. Her brother on the other hand is different because I noticed that he reacted in that way when he was already more than six months old. My first child does not focus his attention to me during the first six months and I’m just glad that he turns out okay today. He is already 3 years old and I’m just glad that he has already learned how to talk to me. I was very worried in the past because of his late development in terms of expressing his thoughts especially whenever we meet toddlers of his age who is really fluent in talking. Right now he is showing progress and I hope that he will really be fluent in speaking before he will be four years old.

My baby girl got sick

Just last Saturday my baby girl was confined in the hospital with pneumonia and hyper active airway disease. It was the second time she was confined since birth, last August at one month old she was also confined in the hospital because of pneumonia and septicemia. Last August was really hard on me because my husband, my son and my baby got confined in the hospital. I mean not only is it difficult physically but financially as well.

Last Saturday we were with her to take care of her health. His father also takes a leave of absence because of his upper respiratory tract infection. Our whole family is sick of this kind of disease while Zen and I have colds as well. Zen has fever for three days and I presumed that it was due to his cough and colds but I later found out that he had a viral infection and thank god he is okay now. It really helps that I have him immunized last September with IPD vaccine because he easily recovered with his upper respiratory tract infection. At his age it cost less than the I.P.D. vaccine for infants and the interval of the vaccine is three years.

I have my baby girl immunized with h.i.b. vaccine but it was still a first dose so maybe her immune system is still not good enough to fight diseases. I could not afford to have her immunized with I.P.D vaccine because at her age it’s very expensive at three dosage and two months interval.

She was discharged from the hospital just last Tuesday and right now she is still sick with upper respiratory tract infection. Her doctor advised us to have her inhale with a nebulizer whenever she has difficulty breathing. Right now she is on medication with ambroxol and antibiotics.

Having my baby girl

There is a period of adjustment in our life as a family when my baby girl arrives. First of all my first born doesn’t understand why he is not the center of attention anymore and the first day that I have arrived from the hospital he doesn’t want to go near his baby sister. At night he doesn’t want to sleep with us and insist on sleeping with his grandmother this go on for one week. It is also a challenging role for me because I have to make time for the both of them. During the first month almost all my attention was on the baby and my toddler has a hard time adjusting to this new situation because he was accustomed to being the only one. There were times where he cries in his sleep and I was not available to comfort and hug him because I was busy feeding his little sister. He just cries and calls mama to no avail. I’m just so relieved that at least now he has already adjusted to our present condition and now he kisses and loves his baby sister.

I have come to realize that the more you have kids the more your attention and time is divided to cater to their needs. I suppose that is what a woman’s purpose is to give love provide comfort and take care of her children and husband. Having all of them, my husband, my son and my daughter makes me happy and content. I just smile just thinking of them and even feel energized everyday. I also realized that having a family especially having children has given me a purpose and direction in life. When I was single I did not have a goal and I feel like I was just floating with no direction and purpose. Life is so unfulfilling if you live only for your self but when you live it for others it becomes meaningful and gives you purpose. To my understanding it also explains why congregation of different sects of religion survives to this day. It is a human condition to belong somewhere, to be needed and loved.

In the delivery room giving birth to my 2nd child

According to my ultrasound report my expected date of delivery is on July 22 but I know that it could be earlier than that so I’ve decided to have my maternity leave on July 7 so that I have already turn over all my work responsibilities before labor begins.

Labor begins on July 14, 2008 at 1:00 am. I was not sure that this could be it but I could not sleep because of the pain. Painful contractions come and go at 20 minutes interval then finally at 3:00 am the interval is already 10 minutes apart. At 5:00 am I text my father to give me a ride to the hospital at 8:00 am because it’s already very painful. At 5:30 am I called him to deliver me to the hospital right away because I felt the pain getting stronger. I was admitted in the hospital at 6:00 am and the doctor IE me to check the opening of my pelvic bone and she told me that it is still 3cm. I know that in order to deliver my baby the opening of my pelvic should be 10cm so it means it is not time yet. I was then brought to the labor room and wait for my personal doctor to arrive. I was admitted to a government hospital so as expected there are about ten pregnant women there awaiting there turn in the delivery room.

While there a gadget was fastened around my belly and I was asked to push on a button every time my baby moved. A midwife asked me personal questions to be filled up on my baby’s birth certificate. During that time the painful contractions got stronger and the interval got closer. Finally I was led to my bed while waiting for full term labor. While waiting I could not sleep because of the pain. I mean it is very painful unlike anything that I have experienced before. A student nurse assisted me during that time and when there were painful contractions I would put my hands on her arms and grip it just to lessen the pain that I am experiencing. I even asked to be sedated but they refused to do so because they have to wait for my personal doctor to arrive. So there I was bearing the pain and then finally there was little blood coming out of me. The painful contractions seem to be endless and there was no interval anymore just the pain until finally my water broke. During that time the resident doctor IE me and it turns out my pelvic was already 10cm fully dilated. I was moved to the delivery room and was told that my personal doctor is already coming.

I lay there in the most uncomfortable position that I ever have in my entire life. Fully conscious of what was happening to me. There were about 10 nurses and midwife including the resident doctor looking at my “you know what” while waiting for my doctor. My legs were widely spread apart and I was trembling because of the cold and the pain. My clothes were wet when my bag of water broke. Finally my doctor arrived and she told me that it is already time for me to give birth to my baby. Whenever my contractions come I push hard so that my baby will come out but it seems that I’m running out of breath. Each time I push harder I felt that I could not get her out of me. I’ve told myself that I should do this so that the pain will be over. One midwife helped me by putting pressure on my upper abdomen while I push then finally my baby come out of me. I felt relieved at last it’s over. I felt the needle while my doctor was stitching on my cut. I was then moved to my private room together with my baby. She was laid beside me and I could see her hands moving. I did not dare to sleep because I’m afraid that if I do she might fall. While we were on the way to my room I could overhear people say that my baby is cute. When we were already in the room I have seen my husband waiting there and I slept knowing that my baby is safe. I was admitted in the hospital at 6:00 am and gave birth to my baby at 10:15 am this four hours is one of the most memorable event in my life.

Marriage, Career and Motherhood

What I really liked about my job is it doesn’t require too much of me and it is not so stressful. It also gives me financial capacity to buy what I want for myself, a kind of freedom that I don’t have to ask my husband for everything. It is also an outlet entirely different from the home. It is a social surrounding for me where I get to interact with other people and to learn new things.

Marriage is one of my goals in life, why? It gives me a sense of direction and purpose. It’s a feeling that you belong to a family of your own and it offers me security and contentment. It is a feeling that at the end of the day you have someone to go home to and give you love and comfort. Motherhood makes marriage even better because a child binds you together even more. I noticed that a child can lessen stress in marriage especially in our relationship.

Balancing marriage, career and motherhood is not always easy but it can be done. When you are working you have to focus your mind in your work and do it well. When you go home you have to forget your work and focus your attention to your family. I’m a working mom so I don’t get to be with my child from 8:00 am to 5:00 pm five days a week so I make it a point to go straight home. I also noticed that when you spend quality time with your child it really matters. I have to feed him dinner and watch TV with him afterwards give him his good night hot bath and we sleep together. We have fun having pillow fights and I give him his nightly aromatic massage. In the morning when he wakes up he comes to our bed to lay with me and his papa for awhile and I hug and kiss him. I feed and bathe him before I go to work every morning. It becomes a routine for us. In this way he still feels me and my love for him.

In marriage the most important thing is communication, endearment and physical connection. Your career and motherhood takes your time away from your husband but quality time spent is more important than quantity. A simple call and text will do just to remind him that you are thinking of him. A kiss and hug every day is enough to make him feel that I love him. I make it a habit to say “I love you” in the morning and say it again in the evening when we went home from work.

My toddler learns to say mama

This week I have a very nice surprise when I got home from work. My toddler called me mama for the first time. He used to call me and my husband papa but now he already knows the difference and it feels so good to be called mama. He also learns some additional words like bird, milk, shoes, nanay, tita, lolo and jollibee. I placed an alphabet poster in our bedroom and from time to time I read it loud to him while pointing at the alphabet and the visuals that it represents. I said A as in Apple and so on. I was really amazed when he points at the milk and said milk and points at shoes and said shoes. I’m so glad that my son is learning to talk already but in other times he just babbles. There are also times when he talks to me and I don’t really understand anything he says so I just nod like I understand him just to encourage him to talk more.

Every morning when he wakes up I smiled at him and he smiles back at me. I ask him how his sleep was and he kisses me and I also tell him to kiss his papa and he does. Having a child is the best gift life has given me and I thank God everyday for this.