Understanding Love

It is time to love again. This is from the heart and mind of a widow.  Whatever we feel, even the most painful experiences such as death of a beloved, the human spirit always yearn for someone to belong to.  I think it is what makes us human. A woman is made for a man, just like a man belongs to a woman.  Just as what God, has said, It is not good for a man to be alone, so he made him someone that has a part of him, a companion to make this life good.

The greatest love is still on loving yourself, because this will be your guide in finding the right person to belong to.  Here are the things that I have realized, I don’t know if this is applicable to both man and woman, but this is a woman’s perception. So you know it is definitely applicable to women. Although love is universal, every person is different.

1.       Love hurts but it is okay

So, you are in love again, you think so because you feel it.  Well, what is a feeling anyway? Is it like hunger where you feed and then you are satisfied? Feelings are fleeting but it is not love.  You are hurt because you thought, this person loved you but in the end, he really does not? Or you are so guilty because you thought you love the person but in the end you really don’t?

Love is so confusing you say? But this is not really love, it is just a feeling, so it does not last. There was once a girl that cries because her boyfriend dump her, I am sometimes very frank and unfeeling to this kind of situation, that I told her, she must be grateful for it.

Well, you can just imagine her confusion to what I just said, so I explained, It just means you can move on now.  At least, he was honest to you now, you can just imagine if he married you, and then realized that he really does not want you.                                                                                                                     

So you see, Love hurts but really it is okay, after all. You are still alive so be sensible.  He is not the one for you, so be grateful instead and move on. How can you meet your soulmate if you are stuck with the wrong man.

2.       Finding the right one and being found

If you are one of those people who is always searching for the one, but gets hurt over and over again.  It might be that you are the one that should be found.  Do you realize this?  Sometimes, you are so busy looking around that you fail to see that someone is already there for you.  That person has found you and you are just so dumb to see it.

Well, we are dumb sometimes so there.  So how do you know that the person is really the one for you? It is just simple; you enjoy each other’s company even without the sex thing.  Oh I said it.

Love is not just desire or feelings, it is friendship and companionship, and this is what makes it everlasting.

You must love and respect each other.  You care for that person deeply and you want their happiness.  You have so much in common that it’s really not hard to talk to them at all.

The most important thing is that you should be yourself when you are with this person, even your yucky self.  Distasteful as it seems, but you have to be loved as you are.  It will never last if you pretended to be somebody you are not.  It is so exhausting to live up to someone’s expectation. Sooner you will reveal the real you and then the person then realize that he really does not want you at all.  In the end you are still hurt. So be honest from the start.  It is a waste of time to pretend. Be true to yourself.

3.       Be Brave and Love without expectations

Living a great life is to be brave at heart.  It is always the right thing to do.  We only live once, would it be nicer if you give it your all? It would be too late to realize that on your deathbed.

Loving with expectations hurt us so much, that we cower at the thought of commitment.  We must love without expectations.  We must be vulnerable in love and give it our all. If it fails, you can get hurt but you are still gonna be okay. Show the world that nothing can break you.

We have to realize that every person is different from us. We have different capacities and we are not created equally the same. We have to give our 100% when we love. When we expect too much from our partner and we are always measuring their efforts in our own understanding of love they will always fall short of our expectation.

 In other words they do not fit our own definition of love. This will create tension in our relationship. What we can do is to focus on their positive characters more than their weaknesses

We are not perfect but loving should be accepting everything even the imperfections.

Before loving someone we should be whole first. Partnership is not codependency. It does not mean that an individual should be half of another. It means that you are a strong individual that is happy even by yourself and does not depend on another human being to make you happy.  That kind of relationship is toxic because you expect too much from another to be happy. It can become a burden. Happiness comes from within and it should emanate from you.

4. Love yourself

This is the golden rule.  All love comes from loving yourself. It determines your happiness.  Life is like a mirror after all. You get what you give.  If you hate yourself, probably you let others do something to you even if you don’t like it, as long as the person likes you.

Love yourself above all, because how can you love other people when you don’t know what love is?  People can trample on you, play games on you, but you let them do it , so you will just feel loved and needed.  That is a pathetic way too live.  There is no one to blame but yourself.  Learn to walk away from anyone who treats you badly.  People who does not love themself enough always have the feeling of lack, meaning, they always think that nobody else will love them aside from their current partner who mistreated them.  You must have an abundance mentality and our thoughts can change our life. We are the owner of our thoughts and feelings so we must be strong enough to control them. Inner strength and Self love are the things that can make our life beautiful and full of abundance.

There are millions single available men in this world and all you need is one. So dont ever get stuck with the wrong man. Love yourself enough to detach yourself from someone who does not deserve you.

Above all, do not pretend affection; be true to yourself at all times. Do not love only because of how you feel at the moment.  Loving is commitment, because even if the desire and lust is gone you are still there to stay.  Friendship, respect, trust and love is the foundation of a lasting companionship.

I don’t believe in fairy tales anymore.

Gone were the days when I would read novels or fairy tales.  I just don’t believe in that stuff anymore.  It is just a product of the author’s optimism in love. I happen to know that sense and sensibilities’ author was a spinster who vowed that all her stories will end in a happy ever after so unlike her real life love story.

The irony is that in reality so many of us are just in love with the idea of love.   When it wears off, we just move on to another relationship believing that Mr. Perfect has not yet crossed our path.  In reality there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect, only acceptance that this person is okay for you.  A person has two faces the bad and the good.  If you can live with the bad side of that person it could be that you accepted him/her but it does not necessarily mean that you love him/her. There are many reasons why people stay in a relationship even if it soured not just love.  If you are in an abusive relationship would you still stay because you love the person? Or you just stay because you are afraid to be alone?

 Abusive relationship means not just the physical aspect but also the emotional one which hurts the most. One example of an emotional one is when you are married to an unfaithful partner.  The person knows that his/her partner is hurting but continued on with numerous affairs even to the extent of being caught.  Can you stop that kind of person from doing what he/she does? Sadly, no you just can’t decide for her/him but you can decide for yourself.  Love yourself, this is just the answer and if you do that you can live a blissful life. What my mother teaches me every day is to love myself more than anyone else. Never let anybody hurt you.  She always told me that whatever life brings to my marriage I have to bear it but if my husband is a womanizer this must not be tolerated. Life is just too short to waste it with someone who just isn't worth it. 

Honestly, if you are going to have a relationship, you have to bear in mind that people have two faces. If you can put up with his/her bad side then continue on with your happily ever after.  As for me, I think fairy tales are only in the books.

Reminiscing our wedding day

 

It was this day, in the year 2005 that we have exchanged our vows.  I could not explain in exact words how I felt that day but I realized that it was through our marriage that my eyes were opened to the realities of life.   How it really means to say the vows and really live it. Truly experience is a great teacher.  You cannot really be prepared for just mere theories about life; you just have to live it in order to learn.   It is just like learning to swim, you cannot learn by just listening what to do, you have to plunge in water in order to learn how to swim.  All I know that time was I am truly passionately in love with you and I prayed to God that he would make you my husband.  I was never really been away from my parents for so long before but I would leave them just for you.  To live my life, hand in hand with you.

I thank God for having you in my life because I became tougher.  The experiences we had made me strong and that strength had equipped me well in dealing with life today.   Our love entered so many tests, some of it we passed but still in some areas we failed.  Our marriage was not perfect; it brought me tears, heartache and failed expectations.   Despite all of this I had no regrets. I do believe that in life there are no accidents, all of these things happen for a reason. When you are stubborn and strong-willed you learn the hard way. 

I could honestly say, at age 27, I was an unprepared mother.  Frankly, I don’t like children so I don’t have the skill to deal with them. It is only through motherhood that I learn how to love them.  I am forever grateful to you for giving me two beautiful children. They are my inspiration and the reason why I smile every day.

Being a Widow

I came to realize today as I’ve been thinking of my past and the decisions that I’ve made. I came to think of the what if. What if I married Mr.____ than my husband I would not have become a widow? Although I only have one past boyfriend than my husband there could have been many other possibilities. I will only enter a relationship for the purpose of marriage so that has made me very picky.

No offense to my husband but I love my life today. Life as a widow has its pros and cons just like a wife has. You are the only one who will decide especially financial decisions which suits me. In marriage any decision that a spouse do can really affect the family more importantly financial decisions. What a person decides especially also involving morality will seriously affect the marriage and jealousy is the most annoying part of a relationship. Distrust as the effect of unfaithfulness is also exasperating and can weaken any relationship that was built for years. Whether we admit it or not we are just human and imperfect as we are, were prone to mistakes. I just hope no one in a relationship will make it as an excuse to be unfaithful but that is what usually happens. The feeling that involves all of this is really a waste of our precious time. What I dont like about marriage is the chaotic tendencies of a married life and all the emotions that is involved in it.  The tug of war in making decision and accepting failed expectations.

 What I only hate about the state I'm in is dealing with loneliness of being a widow but being married doesnt spare anyone from feeling the same way too. Living this life we must put it into our mindset that all we have today are just borrowed and one day God will take it back, even our life. We will work hard to accumulate all the things we have today but in the end we will die and we will lose all of it. Experience is all that matters because it can’t be taken away from us. Our experiences in this life will become a part of our soul. I made a vow to myself that I’m going to live a beautiful life without regrets but also without jeopardizing the welfare of my children because they are my top priority.

Thus, we all should live this life without regrets because no matter what happens, we should remember that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called for his purpose.

The scent of your perfume

It’s been more than a year since I posted in this blog because my husband died in 2011 and my life as a widow is a big adjustment for me. I guess life must go on and my heart continuous beating. I have two children to love and be loved in return and I guess love just never run out if you share it with someone.

It is really hard to move on if you lost someone you love especially if it is your spouse but life must go on because you have to love yourself too. Self love is the most important thing in this world because no matter what happens you can still survive. If you don’t love yourself enough you cannot share it with someone and you will never be happy. If the person you love is the only thing that makes you happy then you cannot survive the challenges of life and might as well dig your own grave. Happiness comes from within; you have to celebrate life ‘because you only have one life to live.

When he died, I cried almost everyday. Even before he died I cried everyday because I’ve seen him suffered in the ICU. I think if crying extensively can kill I would have died. It is the most painful part of my life that I would never want to experience again.

When I was growing up, I use to read fairytales and hope someday I would also meet my prince charming. I did meet him but life is no fairytale. It is so difficult to find your mate and then gone in an instant, like a flick of a finger. When I married my husband I came to realize that there is no such thing as a prince charming just an ogre called SHREK but despite his flaws I still loved him. Love is really not superficial but accepting the person as he is, imperfect, rude and sometimes hard headed.

Today, I still miss him especially when I see a man that resembles him. Man in uniform that is for sure, I would stare at a policeman and see my husband in them. I would look at Coco Martin’s cute smile and I would remember him looking at me. I remember him when I smell his perfume on others and even when I see his gesture or body movement from someone. Remembering him doesn’t give me tears anymore but it would put a smile on my face because I reminisce the good times we had than the bad times. Life is after all like a music, there is a high tune and a low tune and the inevitable ending.

How to be a better mind reader

Recently I’ve read in the newspaper column about a letter from a wife, she was asking for advice about her problem with her husband.  She was complaining that her husband comes home without saying a word to her.  Her mind would churn out to a lot of possibilities, whether she has said something wrong, or something happened at work. She would ask herself if something happen between him and his family or friends. She wanted to ask him but she just doesn’t have the nerve to ask her husband.  She will just look for clues, in his posture and tone of voice.  She just wanted to read his mind and she was asking the columnist how to become a better mind reader.

The columnist who was a doctor told her to don’t ever guess.  When you are in doubt you just simply ask.  I think she was right in saying this that is because when you are misread by someone close to you it would create distance.  I think couples should at all times be open to each other.  The doctor also told her to give time.  The best way to learn about someone is to spend more time with them.  Focus on the other person not yourself. Often times, we tend to look for what is in stake for us. This need makes us unable to see what are the other person’s needs and desires.  Lastly all you have to do is ask.  Say in words what you feel. Chances are your husband will do the same.  After all, being expressive could be contagious.  When you are in doubt, simply ask.  

A Wedding Invitation

Today one of our co-workers has given us an invitation for his wedding. Weddings are really one of the memorable events of a couple and it is best to make the experience as wonderful as ever. I also remembered my wedding well nearly five years ago and I made all the preparations. I am six month pregnant that time and I want the wedding to be the most wonderful event of my life but I don’t want to spend a big amount of money on it considering that we are expecting our first baby during that time. Looking back I don’t have any regrets because I’ve made sure that every thing looks extravagant but we spent less for it. I’ve had us made a specialized cheap invitations. I have personally purchased the special scented paper, ribbon and envelope to be used so that we would only pay for the print and design. The wedding entourage gowns were provided by my aunt who was a dressmaker.

My wedding dress was a gift from my mom although I personally pick the design. The church fee was also a gift from my relatives and I have thanked them well during our wedding that time. The wedding tokens were also a gift from one of my aunt and I was very grateful during that time because our relatives made our wedding as blissful and inexpensive as ever. The rest of our needs such as videos, pictures, cakes, flowers and wedding venue was a wedding package from one of our best hotel in the city and I can truly say that it is affordable and worth every penny.

Meet me halfway

I love listening to this song by black eyed peas because I know that it is really a requirement in maintaining a relationship.  Making a relationship work means doing your part in nurturing the relationship but it also means to wait patiently for your partner to do the same. Relationship that is one sided never really work because it takes two to make up a loving relationship.  I always notice that if one partner is violent towards one partner it can always end up violently and messy.  I always notice when couple have violent fights in our neighborhood because it really destroys the peace in the area but it's kind of difficult to decide whether to interfere with it.  One particular thing that we have done was that during the next day we approached the wife because I know her and ask her if she was alright and verify if her husband has in someway hurt her physically.  She told us that her husband did not lay a hand on her but we told her to tell us if he hurt her physically. I think it is our moral obligation to do something to this kind of relationship because it is a known fact that wife beating does exist.

Bridal shower favors for your wedding

One important thing to remember whenever there is a wedding is giving bridal shower favors to your guest as a token of your gratitude and also as a memorabilia for the most important event of your life. My wedding favor in my wedding is a miniature native lamp we commonly called lampara in the Philippines. It is so unique that my guest told me they liked it a lot. I like this wedding favors I’ve posted here, it is a Mint to be bride and groom slide mint tins with heart mints. I think it is so unique and cute. I also like this set sail frosted glass sailboat Tea light holders. I think it would be great if you both like to sail and have this wedding favors to give away at your wedding. This would definitely remind them of your wedding when they keep this memorabilia.

Friday Reflections - Saving your marriage

I have a booklet in positive thinking and it really helps me a lot in the times that I’m down. You know our life is like a wheel, sometimes you are at the top and sometimes you are at the bottom. When you are there at the top, you don’t have any worries and your life is good but when you are at the bottom you want to grasp something to help you survive. That something is your faith in the Supreme Being where you surrender your life. One particular part of the booklet that really gets to me is the attitude of the wife when she finds out that her husband is having an affair. She did not confront her husband, instead she reflects on the reason why it happened. She had realized that she has become very busy with her work and social gatherings that she did not have time with him anymore.

One day her husband told her that he wanted a divorce and do you know what she told him? She told him okay, but told him to give her two months to consider it. She changed her behavior and decided to do the things that she had done early on in their marriage. She did not go to any social event and after work she stayed at home reading magazines and crocheting like she did in the past. She keeps on doing this even if her husband is going out every night. After how many weeks her husband also did the same, reading his newspaper in front of the fire while she did her reading as well. Then finally when the two months had passed she asked him about the divorce. He replied and told her that it’s just a crazy idea and he is not pushing through with it.

Irritating habits that wreck a marriage

There are habits that should be avoided by couples to secure their marriage. There is also what we called a love bank to store the couples love feelings for each other. It is said that we are either making deposits or withdrawals in the account throughout each day. When things go well and we are loving, kind and supportive hundred of credits flow into our love bank and create the feeling that our partners are loved and accepted the way they are. When things go badly, huge withdrawals are made from the love bank. At times the account can be seriously overdrawn, and the relationship goes into serious deficit. When this withdrawal continues the couple can begin to hate each other and every action is considered a threat or interpreted as uncaring.

The habits that make frequent withdrawals from the couples’ love bank are stated here and this should be avoided by the couple to preserve their marriage or else their wedding vows will be broken. The first one is nagging. It means to torment by persistent faultfinding or complaining. This is the most common mistakes of a woman. A wife often complains about her husbands irritating behavior and wishes that he will change but the truth is the husband has a mind of his own. You can’t change him to be the perfect husband by nagging and complaining and the only thing you can do is accept his behavior and personality.

The second habit is angry outburst. This happens when our partner has done something that displeases us and we do this to punish or annoy them to get even. Some common mistake we make is shouting, put-downs, criticism or sarcastic name calling. Some couples resort to profanity, striking each other, throwing things, pushing, kicking and pulling hair. The third one is criticism, this is the worst part because you don’t only drain the love bank but you also drain your love one’s self esteem. If the person has done something that displeases us, an open talk is the key and understanding is what unlocks the door. We can hate the fault of our partner but we should never hate them and bear in mind that they are just human like us and prone to commit mistakes. There is always forgiveness and acceptance to keep the love flowing in the relationship.

The last one is irritating habits and annoying behavior. Some women marry a man and hope to change his annoying behavior while men marry their women and hope they will never change. There is some truth to this but husbands and wives should bear in mind that they should accept their partner including their annoying habits and focuses on their strengths and not on their weaknesses.

Marriage is like waking up from a fairy tale dream

When I was still a little girl I was kind of reserved and shy. I don’t have so many friends and honestly I was one of those girls who get bullied in school. My parents was kind of ambitious because even if my father belongs to the working class they decided to send me and my siblings to a private school and in high school I was sent to a school exclusively for girls. Anyway it was different in High School because I learned to fight back in my junior and senior years and I gained more friends during that time. It was in the elementary years that I had a hard time coping up because I lacked social skills and many of my classmates belongs to the upper class. I spent most of my time in the library and reading fairy tales becomes my daily past time.

I think little girls should not read this kind of stories because their mind is set to find their prince charming early on. I think I should read my daughter bible stories instead. I’m planning to buy a complete set of bible stories with illustration. I think there is nothing wrong with fairytales but it is just not true. I’ve learned something good from fairytales in my younger years. It helps me to use my imagination and develop my English skills. It helps me to believe in the goodness of mankind and it gives me a positive outlook in life. One thing also is it helps me to fall in love.

Marriage In the other hand is so different from a fairytale because it belongs to the drama genre. Where every kind of story is present, comedy, action, drama even horror and suspense. What is so different is it is absolutely real. It is not some story that some author just cook up with their imagination. You think you have married your prince charming and you just wake up one day and you realize that you have married a troll. Yes a troll just like Shrek, a character in the movie. Your husband also realized that he had married Princess Fiona. Fiona is the feisty princess in the movie. Shrek is like a real person and not a prince charming of your dreams. He is obnoxious and lacking pretense but anyhow you learn to love him. I guess that’s what marriage does to a princess in us.

A new single’s dating site in Miami

Miami Singles.com is a new website for singles who are looking for their partners online. I can just remember the days when I was still single, maybe it’s just natural for us to search for our lifetime partner because I was thinking back then what will become of my life If I’m alone? Anyway people have different perspectives on this issue but for me being married is the best thing that ever happened to me. Being a mother is the best thing that makes me complete as a woman. I think woman are made to bear a child in this world and for me I have done my purpose. Anyway for singles out there join Miami dating and good Luck in your search for Mr. Right but remember there is no such thing as Mr. Perfect just Mr. Right. Join Miami Singles today and get the best dating platform and the easiest to use tools that help women and men looking for love in Miami.

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband His Way

1. Communicate with him; never close him out.
2. Regard him as important...and let him know he's important.
3. Do everything you can to understand his feelings.
4. Be interested in his friends...and occasionally give him time with them.
5. Ask his opinion frequently.
6. Value what he says.
7. Let him feel your approval and affections.
8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.
9. Be tender with him, realizing he has feelings also.
10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home... look for ways to laugh together.
11. Avoid sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.
12. Date each other. And when you go out together on a date, don't bring up problems.
13. Focus on what he's doing right, instead of focusing on the negatives.
14. Be interested in what he feels is important in life.
15. Correct him gently and in private.
16. Allow him to teach you without putting up your defenses.
17. Make special time available to him.
18. Be trustworthy.
19. Compliment him often.
20. Be creative when you express your love, either in words or in actions.
21. Have specific family goals for each year.
22. Don't over commit yourself. Leave time for him.
23. Be forgiving when he offends you.
24. Show him you need him.
25. Accept him the way he is; discover his uniqueness as special.
26. Admit your mistakes; don't be afraid to be humble...peel away your pride.
27. Defend him to others remembering that love protects...(1 Corinthians 13:7).
28. Allow your husband to fail...& discuss what went wrong after comforting him.
29. Rub his feet or neck after a hard day.
30. Take time for the two of you to sit & talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).
31. Go on romantic outings.
32. Write him a letter occasionally, telling him how much you love him.
33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind.
34. Express how much you appreciate him.
35. Tell him how proud you are of him.
36. Give advice in a loving way when he asks for it.
37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual Head of the household.
38. Prefer him over others...make the choice to "choose him".
39. Don't expect him to do projects beyond his capabilities. All men aren't experts.
40. Pray for him to enjoy God's best in life.
41. Take the time to notice what he has done for you and the family.
42.. Brag about him to other people behind his back.
43. Share you thoughts & feelings with him.
44. Tell him about your day, if he's interested.
45. Take time to see how he spends his day.
46. Give him time to unwind when he comes home from work...plus, time with the children.
47. Get up with him, even when he has early morning meetings & pray together.
48. Be his "help-mate" in whatever ways you sense he needs it.
49. Let him retreat to his "cave" to recuperate whenever it's possible.
50. Be a student of your husband's ways so you can love him, as he really needs you to.
51. When your husband is in a bad mood...give him quiet time to recover.
52. Help him to finish his goals- hobbies or education.
53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: "Handle with Care".
54. Get rid of habits that annoy him.
55. Be kind & thoughtful to his relatives. Try not to make him choose between them and you.
56. Don't compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.
57. Thank him for things he's done around the house; it'll mean a lot to him.
58. Don't expect credit for all you do for him & the household....do it as "unto the Lord".
59. Make sure he understands everything important that you're planning to do.
60. Do little things for him...an unexpected kiss, coffee in bed...etc.
61. Don't belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words to him.
62. Realize that men rejuvenate themselves by focusing on things they can solve.
63. Sometimes when he has a day off, let him enjoy it without having to "work" at home.
64. Get to the point in your discussions with him. Spare him details he may not want.
65. Discover his sexual needs.
66. Ask if he wants to discuss how you can meet his sexual needs.
67. Wink at him from across the room when you're out at a group function.
68. Plan your future together.
69. Don't quarrel over words.
70. Practice common courtesies with your husband.
71. When something goes wrong, don't assess blame, focus on how to do better.
72. NEVER say, "I told you so."
73. Don't argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures.
74. Take him out on dates now & then...pre-plan ahead of time.
75. Hold his hand in public.
76. Snuggle up close to him at times at home & in public.
77. Tell him you love him often.
78. Put love notes in his pockets and briefcase.
79. Sit with him while he's watching television- even if the program doesn't interest you.
80. Give him the benefit of the doubt & say what's on your mind. Men don't read minds.
81. Give him time with his family alone from time to time.
82. Always check with him before you throw away his "important" papers.
83. Keep yourself in shape.
84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
85. Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
86. Don't criticize him in front of others.
87. Visit his childhood home.
88. When you're angry with him, express it or deal with it, NO silent treatment
89. Pray for him.
90. Make him homemade soup when he's sick.
91. Look your best - dress to honor him & make him proud to be seen with you.
92. Support him when a relative discredits him.
93. Don't disagree with him in front of the children.
94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.
95. Do the "little things" he needs from time to time.
96. Start the day by praying together before you both get up.
97. Give him coupons to redeem- maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.
98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot & put it in his wallet.
99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.
100. Thank him for just being himself.

"The heart of (the virtuous woman's) husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." Proverbs 31:11,12.

New and unique social networking site

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Taking care of my career and blogging

Right now I’m focusing on my career and do everything in order but at the same time I blog because I like to express my thoughts and maybe thru blogging I can touch other peoples lives like all the writers before me. In the past I have these issues that I have a hard time to get over with. I was really shy and reserved when I was still a little girl and today I’m still a bit shy but is always reserved and that is because it is really my nature the only thing that changed is that I’m now friendly and I already know how to approach people. In my teens I have a hard time making friends because I don’t talk a lot and I lack social skills. I am a silent type and I pass much of my spare time in the library because I love to read.

In my sophomore years I have read a book that changed my life and I can still remember it is entitled “How to make friends and influence people” It has step by step advise and I have applied it in my life and It just happened. The next thing I know, I’ve made a bunch of friends and life becomes fun. The first step in gaining a friend is a simple smile and then they will smile back at you. The next thing is introduce yourself and create a conversation. Take note that in a conversation it must not be all about you but all about the person that you are conversing with. You must talk about yourself only if they ask. The most important thing never forgot to pay a compliment to anyone and be sincere at all times it is the most essential thing in making a lot of friends.

Singles and Online chat rooms

There are so many lonely singles out there who wanted to chat and meet someone. We are really highly sociable individual because we cannot live alone and we badly needed a companion and someone to talk to. If you wanted to increase your number of friends you can check this new Free Local Chat.

Anyway being married also doesn’t make us immune to loneliness but we can’t really feel it because we have our hands full and having a busy schedule also prevents us from feeling lonely.


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My friend comes home from Dubai

Finally I’ve found the right template for my two blogs from blogger buster and I’m finally satisfied with the lay out. Now that I have finalized the look of my blog I will have to concentrate more on posting and promoting. Yesterday my best friend arrived from Dubai and as usual she gave me a box of 400 grams of my favorite chocolate to my delight. She surprised me in the office and she asked for my help because she wanted to buy a house. She said that she will be coming back to Dubai after two weeks time to resume her job there and she will leave behind her two children here in the Philippines.

We have been friends since sixth grade and it’s true that friendship lingers on even if we don’t communicate often. Even if we have taken up different college degree in the past we went to the same school and still hang out often during our school days. After college we went our separate ways because of our career but our friendship is still there. When I think about it we have been friends for almost 18 years already. When we were still single we slept in each others house when we have time and it only stops when she got married. There was period of adjustment when she got married because she could not be with me most of the time, I know that family comes first. Now we both have two children and we don’t hang out anymore because she is working and living in Dubai. We have occasional emails and greet each other through yahoo messenger.

Love Q #5

Do you think a man should pay on the first date and if he doesn’t, what would be your impression of him? This is Love Q #5 and here is my comment. Once again this love Q was created by Tot’s mom on Love Q. let’s give mountain girl some link love.

Well, I think it really depends on who made the invitation. If the lady invited the man then she should initiate to pay but generally if the man is a gentleman and likes the girl romantically he will pay for their meal. If they are just plain friends they will pay their own meal regardless of who initiated the invitation. If a man invited a woman for a date then he would pay for their meal because he wanted to please his date. If he doesn’t pay for their meal then he blew his chance of dating her again. Honestly my impression of a man who will invite me for a date and expects me to pay for our meal is that he is a cheapskate and it will definitely be our first and last date.

Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all?

This is my comment on a question posted by Tot’s Mom on Love Q. Well on my part it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all because what is the point of living if you have not experienced loving someone. Naturally it would hurt because it is the price of loving. Loving someone means to open up our self emotionally and in the process leaving us vulnerable.
It is when we care for that someone that we wanted to be involved in their life because we want what’s best for them. Sometimes we forget that they have a mind of their own and it is still their life and in the end it is still their decision that matters. It is also true that people just change their mind including their heart in loving someone. There are factors for these but the person who knows the reason is the one who have a change of heart.

These could be acceptable if there is still no marriage but once married it is a different story. The vow that the couples exchanged on their matrimonial ceremony is a pact for life. It is a decision that mirrors the person doing the contract and they must mean what they said during that day and their commitment must stay even if the feelings change. If love is just a feeling it is not considered true and it could just be lust and sexual attraction.

Now let’s get back to the main point why it is much better to love and lost than to never to have loved at all? I could not imagine my life without love because first of all I was born out of love. My parents loved each other and decided to have a family to love and cherish. Having me as a child brought them joy just like what my son has given me. So if my mother was a coward and decided not to marry my father then she could not have experienced the joy and the pain of motherhood. The joy and the pain of loving and be loved by someone who means the most to us. Although it may not last forever but what matters most is that we experienced it in our lifetime.

What I mean by this is I understand that we only have one lifetime to live when we die what will become of us? If we are Christians it is written in the bible that if we are faithful we will be given eternal life to live and serve the lord. It is also clearly stated in the Holy Scriptures that the eternal life that will be given to us will be different from that of our life here on earth. Entirely different that we will no longer need a husband or a wife, or a son or a daughter but we will live as one family of God.