Feb 29, 2008

Marriage that works

There are times when you just can’t help but compare how it feels like being single and how it feels like being married. When you’re single life seems to bore you and it makes you long for that special someone to fill up that empty space in your heart. You don’t know yet the obligation that goes with that longing. A word of caution, never forget to use your head in choosing the right one for you. The person might be the greatest individual you have ever met but you must look deeper than that. Feelings, such as excitement and romance fades as the years pass by when you’re together but love, respect, devotion, commitment and faithfulness stays. When choosing the right one, you must analyze the person’s personality. You must also know his family background and his past relationships. What’s true is this you can never really know the real person unless you live with them for a year.

In truth you never really know the real person you choose to marry. Bear in mind that you have to pick the best from the worst. You see nobody is perfect but there is the best among the rest. It starts with you, analyze your personality can that person cope up or blend with that of yours? Do you have the same interest? Do you have the same ideas and faith in terms of religion? Whatever differences that you both have you have to compromise before engaging into marriage. You see it’s so easy to enter into marriage but it’s very difficult to stay married. It’s best that you really truly love each other the same way even if you discovered each other’s frailty.

Whatever it is that each person do, it’s best to anticipate that married life is so much more complicated than being single but very fulfilling if you like children and you are with the right partner. There were some couple that grows old still loving each other but in contrast there are couples that grow old hating each other. Why do people stay the same and others change? You see in marriage you have to think of having a family, having a family means having children. You have to think of the rent or mortgage, bills, and expenses that go with it. Its okay if you have plenty of money it will not bother you that much but what if you just have enough earnings? What will you do if the kids got sick? You have to think of getting a loan to pay the bills so what happens to your income? Again you have to find a way to pay the loan without deducting from your daily budget. So what happens next? If someone has problems any discomfort can easily trigger their temperament. So there’s a tendency that the couple fight and speak bitter words that hurt the heart and leaves a scar. Money is the number one reason why couples fight; it is mainly because we need it to survive.

The second and the worst is infidelity, some marriage can surpass this but others break apart. The heart is the most tender and delicate of all organs in our body and when it breaks the person just cease to exist. It is still true to husband and wife the love just simply dies when that happens. Still other knows how to forgive but forget is another thing, the heart does heal but it leaves a scar. Bitter harsh spoken words exchanged between husband and wife also leaves a scar and it will accumulate through the years and damage their marriage.
When a couple truly deeply love each other they will accept their frailty and respect each other. They will not say anything that can deeply demoralize and hurt their partner and fidelity is their commitment to each other. That is the secret of a lasting marriage it is visible when you see old couple holding hands and hugging each other. Still bear in mind that making marriage work is a “tango,” In other words it is not a one man show. It is a dance between two people. You can’t make marriage work if you are the only one trying, you only have two options leave or suffer. I have seen many couples who stayed with each other despite their hatred; they either yell or just ignore each other. They sleep in separate beds and they no longer show affection towards each other.

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Reminder to everyone:

English is my second language so bear with me if my grammar, as well as sentence and paragraph construction is faulty. I am not writing to impress but simply to express my thoughts.

The opinion written here is solely mine and I have no intention to impose it to anyone for that matter. So as the title goes this is just my perception