May 15, 2008

Our decisions and the path that we choose determines our life

Last May 1, Labor Day and also non working holiday, I went to my parent’s house for a visit. My older brother asked me this question during one of our conversation there while he was preparing our lunch. “How do you know that you love the person?” It’s quite normal for us to talk about anything because he knows that I have an opinion for everything. I told him my perspective “You know that you love someone when you are willing to sacrifice for that person.” He asked me again what I mean with sacrifice. I told him that you are willing to sacrifice your time, effort even money for that someone. You are willing to be selfless if need be.

He told me that he was in love with his girlfriend now and he is just wondering if she feels the same. Well I can’t answer his question because the person he should be asking is the girl. He asked me again “can long distance love affair work?” I told him that it really depends how much you trust the person because I cannot say that it won’t work or it can work out. I have a female friend and her husband works abroad and they are still together and I also know someone, her husband works abroad and now they are separated. You can never really know what will be the outcome of your relationship because people have a mind of their own and you can’t dictate their actions and that is just the risk you have to take.

I told him that he has some trust issues and I asked him frankly if he is insecure. My brother’s life is really complicated because he has been married before and he has one son. He has a problem with trusting his wife and frankly I can’t do anything about it because I can’t change his views. I know his wife because they lived with us during the early stage of their married life and I can’t say that she was unfaithful. Anyway I can’t also say that my brother was wrong with his views because I was not in his shoes. I know how she tried to save their relationship because my brother doesn’t have a regular job that pays well. She has to spend her earnings for their needs as a family from providing milk to my nephew to paying for the babysitter. Anyway to make this story short they have tried to save their relationship more than once but in the end they have parted ways. I don’t think they will ever be together again but who knows. I felt sad for our nephew but I can’t do anything about it. It’s not my life and whatever I say to my brother it is still his life and I can’t make choices for him.

Right now my brother stays the same, without a regular job and without a family of his own. He still lives with my parents. He has a job but it is not a stable company and he always complained about it. I tried to help him out in finding a well - paying job to the point of searching job opportunities on the internet and cutting pages on the classified ads on our local news but still he does not apply to any of them.

He told me that he is tired with his life and he wanted to settle down with his new girl friend. I told him to fix his marriage legally otherwise it would be impossible to marry his girl. I also told him to find a regular job to provide financially and stability to his new relationship. I hope he will change for the better and make the right choices to fix his life but unfortunately it was not mine to decide.

Update on my brother's career he already got a regular job.

No comments:


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Reminder to everyone:

English is my second language so bear with me if my grammar, as well as sentence and paragraph construction is faulty. I am not writing to impress but simply to express my thoughts.

The opinion written here is solely mine and I have no intention to impose it to anyone for that matter. So as the title goes this is just my perception